Your Psychiatrist Will See You Now, Mr. Central Banker

Global Central Bank (GCB) checks the hallway for pesky reporters, sees none, and slips into the finely furnished office of Dr. Honoris Causa (DHC), noted psychiatrist to the troubled rich and famous.

Global Central Bank: Thanks for seeing me, Doctor. Frankly, I’m not sure why I’m here. I should be jumping for joy. For the first time in years, everything is in sync. Growth is up everywhere. But I can’t stop feeling anxious. Ever since I was a little boy growing up in Chicago, it was drummed into me that the one thing I was really good for was controlling inflation. It’s always and everywhere a monetary phenomenon, as Uncle Milton never tired of telling me. But no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to get it up. I’ve even gone a bit unconventional and bought buckets of bonds. But all that’s done is end up tying my balance sheet in knots and leaving my hair with more shades of gray. Inflation is still soft.